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Sunday, September 21, 2003
i SHOULD blog regularly...i SHOULD but i'm not. hahaha..oh well. last week was fun! i SOOO love our song for the music group presentations. nang batis lamang ang tumatangis at ang pag-ibig ano'ng tamis alalahanin gunitain kahapon nati'y sariwain and i'm REALLY excited about the chem magic thing! haha..paola is my "GIRLFRIEND". MOVE OVER ARWIN! hahaha..cool, for the nth time, i'm a GUY once again. oh well, it's a GREAT excuse to borrow HIS clothes. diane and i went over to his house AGAIN to borrow his clothes. and it was funny how we were able to make the SUPPOSED "daan" last for 2 hours or so. we left his house, 11 pm. if his dad hadn't shown up, we probably would've left so much later. they were so FUNNY. they played langit lupa! how weird at the same time CUTE. this is getting too difficult for me. i mean, i'm FALLING EVEN MORE INLOVE with HIM every SINGLE time. and the thing is, SHE is SUCH a REALITY. i mean, diane was able to see the contents of his phone. yes...i'm flattered and KILIG that he saved more of MY CONVERSATIONAL messages in his inbox however, he's got this folder entitled uoyevoli for HER. and it SUCKS...he EVEN showed us his pictures with her. yes...i SHOUDN'T get angry or something. after all, what can I DO? she IS his gf! however, a part of me can't HELP but ask, why CAN'T it be ME instead? WHY? and...it isn't a battle anymore between his gf and i. it's between his gf, me, and his classmate!!! my god...WHY? NO ONE wanted him before. it was JUST ME. when did he become SOOO DESIRABLE? and WHY? is it because, 5 years from now, he'd turn into an ANDREW ARELLANO? no... it's hard when you expected he'd be YOURS FOREVER. you take him for GRANTED, NOT realizing that whatever YOU find attractive in him COULD and WOULD attract OTHERS as well. *i THOUGHT you were and will always be MINE. i guess NOT.* //8:32 PM Monday, September 15, 2003 ok..it's been a week since i last wrote. i actually don't want to blog right now coz i'm too lazy. oh well.. haha..i won't say anything about my week anymore. i forgot the stuff that happened to me. my friday was fun coz i spent it with diane UNFORTUNATELY, everything went WRONG for ME. that's life. it's ALWAYS that way. parati akong DEHADO. hahaha.. saturday was my acet. it's funny how thoroughly calm about it i was. so different from my panic state during the upcat. it was relatively easy except for the math part. hahaha..shot gun!!! b or c? take your pick. a REALLY embarrassing thing happened to me after the test but then, i'm not recording it here. it's too incriminating. haha.. the concert was SOOO WORTH IT! despite the rain, the mud, the pandemonium, my hunger, the EXTREMELY RUDE men, VANNESS, you were WORTH IT. i'd go through all that and MORE for HIM. he was SOOO HOT. i LOVE him! btw, i love you beba! thanks for saying that HE looks like jay of the sunsilk commercial. //9:27 PM Sunday, September 07, 2003 my friday night didn't end just yet. i called up HIS best friend to talk about my renewed feelings for HIM. i was the one supposedly with a problem here but his best friend did most of the talking. he ranted for about two hours and i just couldn't get any word in. oh well...i'm extremely touched that he still chooses to open up to me though it's been too long since we've last talked. when he was about to say goodbye, i blurted out my problem. he got all concerned and analyzed my situation. results of the psychoanalytical analysis of dr. lopez is that it's not that these feelings i have came back. it's because they never really left. they were just here all along and i was just in denial, saying i was "over" HIM. the main proof for this are my other crushes. because i couldn't have HIM, i settled for guys who looked or reminded me of HIM. i was telling him i'd better move on and try to deny him once again coz it might work this time. he said, it isn't advisable to try and control these feelings coz when have feelings ever been wrong? now he's praying that i don't make it to UP Manila so i'd still be stuck in this madness of LOVING his bestfriend over and over again. tsk tsk tsk...oh well, he did say, their love isn't enough to last 'til marriage. hahaha..:P that was my friday. my saturday was certainly an event to remember. hahaha..i love you diane! i was supposed to go to diane's house at 9 am. since we were both sleepy, we changed it to 11. i was halfway on my way to her house when i realized i left HIS palanca along with this other guy's palanca i was supposed to show her. it's somewhat crazy but i insisted on going back home to get them. i arrived at diane's nearly 12 noon. we headed to greenhills and ate at pasto where i basically poured out the events that transpired the past weeks. after our lunch, we walked around looking for Finding Nemo and Spongebob stuff. after a few rounds, we decided to change malls and head to Glorietta. there, we basically did 4 things. upo, kain, tayo, picture. hahaha...and to think i'm on this diet. oh well...it was really really fun. diane suggested we hang out at the Rustan's bathroom so we could sit and talk for free. we went there and met up with her mom. they got into this little disagreement so we left and went to the hidden part of the food court. since we were hiding from her mom, diane got this somewhat crazy yet brilliant idea of inviting HIM to hang out with us in katipunan. i told her it wasn't feasible AT ALL coz he'd probably opt to hang out at home and study. we decided to eat at world topps for dinner so we left G4. on the way to world topps, we began making up all sorts of invented stories, reasons and excuses to be able to see him. after a lot of laughing and getting hoarse throats, we finally came up with this "acceptable" excuse to see him. the so-called excuse was that, i had to get letters from 5 of the most influential people in my life (diane's idea) for my Corinthian recollection (my idea). now that's a lot of crap but he believed it. hahaha.. at world topps, i was sort of "panicking" coz my outfit had i love yous printed on them and diane was teasing me that she'd tell him that those messages were for HIM. after eating, we headed to mcdo to use their comfortroom. instead of heading straight to the cr, we sat around once again, waiting for his text saying that he's already home. diane said she had to charge her phone so we were planning on how we were going to ask him to make our stay longer. hahaha...after a few minutes, he texted saying, "kunin mo na, wait for u outside." after getting this, we headed to the cr finally and took our time there. then we went out and looked for a taxi. after seeing a LOT of taxis earlier and counting them one by one, now, there was hardly one passing by. finally, we were able to get one. because we were hurrying, i wasn't able to close the car door fully. this could've happened. HEADLINE: 16 yr-old, NAHULOG SA TAXI, NA-INJURE, PINAGTAWANAN NG KAIBIGAN, HINDI KINILALA NG TAXI DRIVER. SERIOUSLY, the car door opened!!! and if i was just leaning on it, i could've fallen as well. it was funny, REALLY funny. but also quite dangerous. i'm glad i'm still here right now, able to blog about this. we finally got to his house and he REALLY WAS waiting OUTSIDE. poor thing. and to think we were taking our time. we assumed that the reason he wasn't texting was that he took a bath and everything. but then, he was still wearing porma clothes. he told me he hadn't changed yet. so that meant...all this time, he got home and immediately made the letter? awww...how nice. and to think that i really didn't need one. good thing diane had to charge her phone so we got to go in their house. i guess he wasn't expecting this. i sat by the front door coz his sister was watching tv in the living room. diane's phone was set on headset mode so she couldn't hear anything. she asked him if she could use their landline. while diane was using the the phone, he showed me a group pic they had taken that day. i asked it from him but he wouldn't give it. he agreed to a trade though. weird...did he want a pic of me? wahaha.. diane asked us to pose and took pics of the two of us on her phone. (on friday we're going to have them printed! yahoo!) anyway, we basically talked and were having such a fun time when diane's brother texted saying he was already there. i reluctantly stood up and said goodbye to him. he went with us to the convenience store. it was weird once again. i was in the middle when we were walking and both diane and he were walking really close to me. so i let them get ahead. la lang.. we said goodbye and diane told me, when she handed me her phone, he saw it. anyway, i hadn't realized that she was taking pics of us while we were talking. hahaha..now, i have pics to look forward to. we got to diane's house and had our "recap". i read to her the letter. it was 2 pages long. and to think i had told him about it just a few hours earlier. it was really nice. a letter deserving to be read during my debut. i was really touched and it was really sweet. we then realized that his group pic was nowhere to be found. he told me i left it at his house and i should get it next time! yes...another reason to see him once again! i'm in the middle of composing my so-called goodbye letter... *the whole world knows we're meant to be...everyone knows. you might know it yourself...yet in your heart... you just DON'T believe it* //6:00 PM Friday, September 05, 2003 i might regret THE decision i made today but then i hope there IS a NEXT time. my day started out like a school day though we didn't have classes. woke up earlier than the usual time actually coz of a text message. oh well..i'm not pissed. it was HIM. *sigh* anyway, woke up early coz of the english project practice. i made my ESKAPO an hour earlier to get to UST in time for my "meeting" with HIM. i got there probably past 12. thinking that i still had atleast 45 mins more to kill, my mom and i went to the chapel. then he texted saying he'd be leaving soon and was looking for me. so i headed over to the med building leaving my mom in the hospital so it won't be AS awkward as it already is. i looked around for him. then i saw this guy who sorta looks like him. i moved closer to get a better look. it was HIM. with a red cap. waaw..different. i approached him and we talked. i PRETENDED i was ALONE. hahaha..he got all guilty coz he'd be leaving soon so he suggested i come with them to watch swat. a BIG part of me was considering it then he said, "iniintay ko lang si mae eh." those words literally BROKE my heart. i looked at him straight with a big FORCED smile on my face as though i was TRULY happy for him which i am SOOO NOT. i mustered all my strength to GRACIOUSLY refuse his offer. then he suggested that i hang out with his dad. REALLY TEMPTING but i declined as well. he then called his bestfriend who is one of my closest guy friends to cut class for me. tsk tsk..i told his bestfriend it was ok and i could manage being "alone". he then received a text message, shook his head and said "labo!" i'm guessing mae cancelled out on him. his blockmates were really bitchy towards me, even the guys. atleast try to smile when i'm being introduced to you! but no...you have to GLARE at me. oh well..who cares. then he said they really have to go so i said, "sure, i'm going to be ok, bye!" he couldn't take this and LITERALLY grabbed my arm and was DRAGGING me to come with them. it was ULTIMATE kilig! but then, the hurt side of me just HAD to decline. after hearing her name, i just couldn't tag along. now, i'm EVEN MORE determined to fight for him. he is REALLY the nicest guy i've ever met. btw...weird and sort of freaky realization. when HE wore the red cap, he sort of looked like patrick starfish. does that mean that EVERY single one of my crushes are PATTERNED after him?!? whoah. *i'm hoping i won't regret declining. i'll always remember september 5, 2003* //6:54 PM Thursday, September 04, 2003 BURNOUT O wag kang tumingin ng ganyan sa akin Wag mo akong kulitin, wag mo akong tanungin Dahil katulad mo ako rin ay nagbago Di na tayo tulad ng dati, kay bilis ng sandali O kay tagal din kitang minahal Kung iisipin mo di naman dati ganito Teka muna lang, kelan tayo nailing? Kung iisipin mo, di naman dati ganito Kay bilis kasi ng buhay, pati tayo natangay O kay tagal din kita minahal Tinatawag kita sinusuyo kita Di mo man marinig, di mo man madama O kay tagal din kitang mamahalin *sobra...ang TAGAL pero para sayo, kahit gano pa* //9:58 PM finally i'm able to blog after SOOO LONG! hahaha..it's coz of the retreat and my new BAD sleeping habits. tsk tsk..oh well. here goes. the retreat was fun. we basically did 4 things. sleep, take pictures, do pagan stuff and EAT. it wasn't a retreat actually. more of like a break. but who cares? i'm NOT complaining. except for the "new" me that evolved that i don't actually like. hahaha..the highlight of the retreat for me wasn't the retreat ITSELF but the PRE-RETREAT. the so-called MOMENT i've been waiting for CAME. and what happened? i was LATE so i HAD to walk from mcdo katipunan to ateneo hs alone. whoah..i can't believe i DID that. anyway, it's over now. it wasn't exactly the "moment" i dreamt of. actually..it was FAR from it. but i guess i'm partly to blame so i'm just HOPING there's a NEXT time. it was the event afterwards that made my YEAR though. went to his house with enya and tanya. and really..it was a moment of TRUE DEATH and HEAVEN at the same time. he was SOOO extremely NICE. waaw. basically, the whole kilig moment was hanging out in their living room. it was so cute how he was awkward about the whole thing and how he TRIED to be a gracious host. i will FRAME the cookie. hahaha. joke. anyway, i wish he DID get jealous with the holding hands of tanya and enya. unfortunately, he didn't. oh well..still, it was a moment i'll remember forever. i loved him even more coz of this. Ey ingat kyo ha! :) sori 4 d po0r hosting.. Gulat ako eh hehe ey PWZ 150 b yng plate numbr?Bka mali yng ntndaan ko e, txt me f u get werevr ur g0in ok:) tc kyo jan! waaw..he actually cared enough to get the taxi's plate number that we didn't EVEN BOTHER to look at. that was last week. this week was a blast. basically did nothing. the college day yesterday was fun though. hahaha..the people from 1-1 make great sisters. oh..btw. last august 27..or was it early morning of august 28? anyway, i made a vow to myself with enya as witness that no matter what happens, the release of the results of the upcat will serve as judgement day. a time for a new beginning. i'm working on an improved me. maybe i shouldn't see other people anymore so it'd be a surprise when i'm a "new" aika na. oh well.. *i sooo want to get to college and start my pre-med. hahaha..* //9:20 PM
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